Parents are very skilled at criticising themselves for not consistently offering the very best, because of exhaustion, confusion and … sometimes, just being human. Humans are dynamic and there is no better time to see that than in parenting. Sometimes we expect ourselves to be capable of things that are simply not humanly possible. When we don’t meet our unrealistic expectations, we then become self critical and therefore are creators of our own emotional pain.
There are ways however, to remind parents to shift from parenting 'reactively caregiving' from the outside, to a more internalised approach of thinking. By thinking from the inside first when can be more aware of the actuality of situations and therefore provide care that is thoughtful and a little less ‘knee jerk’. By thinking this way the caregivers can develop stronger and deeper abilities to connect with their child, rather than just provide care.
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